Today I turned Twenty Three.
I've forgotten how young I really am. I've always felt older than my actual age. After having Roweyn, I feel like I've aged even more, instead of feeling like I'm turning Twenty Three, I feel like I'm turning Twenty Eight. But I'm not Twenty Eight, I am only Twenty Three and I am still young and I still have many, many years in my life. (Not that Twenty Eight is old, because it's really not. ha) That's something I forget often, especially being a single Mom. I feel like I need my entire life put together now or it's not going to work out. I feel like the plans that I once had, that I once dreamt of, still need to happen the same way, otherwise I'm letting down Roweyn. Now I know that's really not the case, it's just hard to let go of something you wanted so badly because you didn't have it. I'm sure there are many people that can relate. Lucky enough for me, it is something that I can let go of, because it's not life or death and if it's meant to be it can still happen.
I'm excited for what this next year of my life brings. I'm hoping for some good change. I can't wait to spend every minute I can with Roweyn, just like the past almost two years, watching her grow, remembering everything I can. Life goes by so fast, and it's so easy to forget the little things and sometimes even the big things. It's very bittersweet. I've realized that my Mom must feel the exact same way as I do, especially today, seeing her little girl, now Twenty Three years old. I can't even imagine Roweyn 21 years from now, the same age as I am today. It will be here before I know it and that's just crazy to me!
So here's to not worrying so much about the future, to focusing on what's right in front of me and to remembering and cherishing every moment I can with my family.
It's hard for me to believe that Roweyn is already 8.5 months old. Where has the time gone? What have we been doing all this time? I guess the saying, "Time flies when you're having fun!" really applies here. Because really, these past 8.5 months have been all about fun! Of course there has been a lot of ups and downs, but we've gotten through all of them. Times when I felt like, "How the hell did that happen? and What the heck am I supposed to do to get through this?" I thought it would be really difficult to get through some situations and yet here we are 8.5 months later and going strong.
Roweyn has made me so strong. Knowing that I have her shows me that I can do anything. I've gotten through 13 months of cosmetology school without any breaks, while also being pregnant 8 months out of that 13 months. I graduated at 8 months pregnant and got my license at 9 months pregnant. While also being gone 11 hours a day, 4 days a week, driving 3 hours a day. The past 3.5 months I have been working part time and taking classes to really get my career going. Spending money I barely have to take these classes, but knowing in the long run this is what will really make my career and hopefully make me stand out more and get me to the goals I hope to make someday.
Having my family's support and Roweyn has made me more determined than I could have ever been. And I just want to say "Thank you" to my Parents, who have helped me in more ways than I could have imagined, to my Brothers for always being there, and to my younger Sister, who has gone from being the baby of the family to the very helpful Auntie. Without you guys, I'm not sure I could have done it.
Also Thank you to all of my friends who have been so supportive from the beginning and are still supporting me.
I Love You All.
