Well that last post wasn't exactly how I wanted it to be, but I wasn't sure when I'd be able to write again so I wanted to write as much as I could!
I got a voicemail yesterday that I wish I knew how to react to. Not sure if I should be happy, angry or maybe both. It made me ask "why now?". And a lot of other questions that I know I won't be able to answer. I have a lot of thinking to do now. Thinking and decision making that I was hoping and somewhat dreading I wouldn't have to do. It makes me wonder so much. There's parts of me that wish I could just forget about the whole thing, but at the same time, I just want to get it all figured out. Enough about this though, I'd rather not be asked about it, but I needed to say it.
Roweyn and I were able to go on another walk today. It's beautiful outside! It's so nice to get out even if it is only for 30 minutes. I hope there's more days like this to come. It's a nice break thats for sure.
I gave Roweyn a bath last night which she absolutely loves doing! I put her on her tummy on a towel on the bathroom floor while I was getting everything ready and it was amazing what she was trying to do. She held her head up the whole time which is crazy for her age. But not only did she do that...she was kicking and moving her legs and feet all over the place like she was trying to crawl! And she actually moved herself forward! I wish I had been able to get it on video. My mom, dad and I were all so excited. I wish I could give her a bath every night cause it relaxes her so much, but it would dry out her skin too much. She slept from midnight to 5:30 though. It was so nice. I hope there are more nights like last night soon.
Roweyn's getting more and more alert every day. It's so fun just to sit and talk to her and watch her and see how she reacts. She does this squinty eye thing when she looks at you, it cracks me up every time. She tries to talk to us too, but nothing comes out yet, she just moves her mouth and sticks her tongue out. It's a very cute attempt. She has so much personality already! I love it! She's sleeping right now and she's doing that little humming noise that I was talking about before. So precious. She sounds like she's snoring.
I'm trying to make a trip up to Eureka soon so all my family up there can see Roweyn. My mom wants to go up Valentines Day weekend, but that's so soon! And I'm not sure I'm ready to travel with Roweyn yet, let alone make Roweyn sit in her carseat for 6 hours. Especially my moms car which is horrendous to drive in and not an ideal car to travel with an infant in. The sooner the better though, but she's so young. We're still trying to get a routine down, and she eats and sleeps so much still that it's hard to do anything. And not being home in an environment we're both used to worries me, but I know we have to start branching out more. I just think it would be easier if she were a bit older. I can either risk going now and just deal with whatever happens, or wait it out just a little longer in hopes that it will be a little easier. Yeah, no idea what I'm going to decide.
Well Roweyn is bound to be waking up any minute now. So if I don't end this now and go get something to eat I probably won't get another chance for quite a few hours. Till next time....